Salome Schillack
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I really hope there are fewer bosses today saying this to other 30-year-olds who deserve to be promoted, irrespective of the status of their Maternity Leave.
I remember getting back in my car after that meeting and feeling disappointed and angry, but because I am an optimist, I chose not to focus on what I had lost. Instead, I chose to focus on the joy of having Maternity Leave and being able to take almost a year off to be with baby Milla when she was born.
Working in London, I got to fly in a private jet to France. It never occurred to me that I won’t be able to work after I have babies.
...not in Australia in 2011 if you’re the one with the womb that baby is growing inside.
Soon after I became pregnant and announced my maternity leave plans, an opportunity opened up for a promotion.
I was the perfect candidate for the role and I knew it, my Manager knew it, HR knew it and even our Regional Manager knew it.
But when I asked for their blessing to apply, I was told “It’s probably not the best time to apply, given that you’re about to go on Maternity Leave”.
This is where I have to say, if someone said that to me today, my reaction would not be the same as it was when I was 30 years old.
I always knew I was going to be a working Mother.
I’m fiercely competitive, I have a creative and overactive mind, and I love solving problems and seeing new things come to life because I willed it so.
So when I became pregnant for the first time, I took all the time I could get from my permanent employment, knowing that I’d return in good time and it would all go back to the way it was...
Accept it never did.
Little did I know that I was about to discover that having a baby and working aren’t two things that were designed to occupy the same space...
...not in Australia in 2011 if you’re the one with the womb that baby is growing inside.
Soon after I became pregnant and announced my maternity leave plans, an opportunity opened up for a promotion.
I was the perfect candidate for the role and I knew it, my Manager knew it, HR knew it and even our Regional Manager knew it.
But when I asked for their blessing to apply, I was told “It’s probably not the best time to apply, given that you’re about to go on Maternity Leave”.
This is where I have to say, if someone said that to me today, my reaction would not be the same as it was when I was 30 years old.
I really hope there are fewer bosses today saying this to other 30-year-olds who deserve to be promoted, irrespective of the status of their Maternity Leave.
I remember getting back in my car after that meeting and feeling disappointed and angry, but because I am an optimist, I chose not to focus on what I had lost. Instead, I chose to focus on the joy of having Maternity Leave and being able to take almost a year off to be with baby Milla when she was born.
Working in London, I got to fly in a private jet to France. It never occurred to me that I won’t be able to work after I have babies.
I always knew I was going to be a working Mother.
I’m fiercely competitive, I have a creative and overactive mind, and I love solving problems and seeing new things come to life because I willed it so.
So when I became pregnant for the first time, I took all the time I could get from my permanent employment, knowing that I’d return in good time and it would all go back to the way it was...
Accept it never did.
Little did I know that I was about to discover that having a baby and working aren’t two things that were designed to occupy the same space...
It was April when I returned to work full-time and I was grateful that I chose a month chock-full of Public Holidays because that way I could ease into it a bit.
Despite the fact that I was excited to be out in the world working and talking to other adults about anything that did not involve the color of body fluids, going back to work full-time and leaving my 10-month-old for 8 hours a day, left me with a deep feeling of darkness in my soul.
Things I used to tolerate at work, now became a GIANT waste of time. Checking boxes for the sake of it, no matter how irrelevant they were to the actual outcome of the job, started driving me to new levels of rage!
Attending social events with colleagues I did not have social relationships with made me want to shout “Leave me alone!!” to everyone who crossed my path at work.
I was angry and depressed and all day I looked forward to going home to my baby, and when I got home I was tired and distant and felt like I wasn’t doing anything well anymore.
The paycheck helped, but only for a while.
Milla was 10 months old when I was asked to come back to work full-time.
It was April when I returned to work full-time and I was grateful that I chose a month chock-full of Public Holidays because that way I could ease into it a bit.
Despite the fact that I was excited to be out in the world working and talking to other adults about anything that did not involve the color of body fluids, going back to work full-time and leaving my 10-month-old for 8 hours a day, left me with a deep feeling of darkness in my soul.
Things I used to tolerate at work, now became a GIANT waste of time. Checking boxes for the sake of it, no matter how irrelevant they were to the actual outcome of the job, started driving me to new levels of rage!
Attending social events with colleagues I did not have social relationships with made me want to shout “Leave me alone!!” to everyone who crossed my path at work.
I was angry and depressed and all day I looked forward to going home to my baby, and when I got home I was tired and distant and felt like I wasn’t doing anything well anymore.
The paycheck helped, but only for a while.
Milla was 10 months old when I was asked to come back to work full-time.
One, because I have to do a bunch of unnecessary shi*&t I don’t need to be freakin’ amazing at my job and they get to control my time, while I desperately want to go home to my baby.
Two, because I have to clean up a bunch of shi*&t I don’t want to clean up to be a freakin’ amazing Mom, while doing housekeeping and making sandwiches slowly sucks all the creativity from my brain, and all I want to do is go out and work.
I felt absolutely stuck in a trap no one prepared me for.
So when I became pregnant again, with baby Elle in 2013, the day I booked that Maternity Leave I started working on my exit plan!
I started thinking that there must be another way!
Surely I cannot be faced with a Door No 1/Door No 2 situation where -
Door No 1: Stay at home full-time. Have no money, let the creative, industrious part of my brain rot and fall off, but get cuddles all day.
Door No 2: Work for a boss full-time. Make good money, get creative stimulation but have no control of my time, no say over my priorities, and no flexibility to balance my priorities around what matters to me!
Each of these came with its own flavor of resentment, depression, sadness, and anger.
Toddler Milla and Elle on the way!
Toddler Milla and Elle on the way!
I started thinking that there must be another way!
Surely I cannot be faced with a Door No 1/Door No 2 situation where -
Door No 1: Stay at home full-time. Have no money, let the creative, industrious part of my brain rot and fall off, but get cuddles all day.
Door No 2: Work for a boss full-time. Make good money, get creative stimulation but have no control of my time, no say over my priorities, and no flexibility to balance my priorities around what matters to me!
Each of these came with its own flavor of resentment, depression, sadness, and anger.
One, because I have to do a bunch of unnecessary shi*&t I don’t need to be freakin’ amazing at my job and they get to control my time, while I desperately want to go home to my baby.
Two, because I have to clean up a bunch of shi*&t I don’t want to clean up to be a freakin’ amazing Mom, while doing housekeeping and making sandwiches slowly sucks all the creativity from my brain, and all I want to do is go out and work.
I felt absolutely stuck in a trap no one prepared me for.
So when I became pregnant again, with baby Elle in 2013, the day I booked that Maternity Leave I started working on my exit plan!
I cried for that woman who felt completely trapped, helpless and victimized by a system I never knew would betray me so much once I became a Parent.
As I drove away that day, watching Milla cry at the gate, I committed myself to - finding a way to use my time and my brain to earn as much money as I did in my job - without ever having to answer to anyone but myself about how I choose to spend my time and how I balanced my priorities between work and my family!
I couldn’t stay, I had a plane to catch for work!
I got back in my car, leaving little Milla crying at the gate with her tiny arm reaching through the bars and shouting at me to come back!
As soon as I turned the first corner, I pulled over and I cried... and cried... and cried.
I cried for that little toddler who has no concept of a boss that has the power to decide if her Mommy can or cannot attend the Mother's Day Morning Tea.
I cried for the next little girl growing inside me who’ll have to go through the same thing so that I can work and earn money.
Hustling hard on Facebook Live.
How hard can that be, right?
Right!?
So I slowly started looking into this online courses thing...
And I started dreaming about it, but I didn’t do much about it yet.
Until one day...
A day that started like every other day with me dropping off little Milla, who was only 18 months old, at daycare - but this day was different. On this day, all the other Mommies stayed for the annual Mother’s Day Morning Tea.
One day, driving in my car I heard an ad on the radio for an event for Moms who want to learn how to start online businesses.
“You don’t need to sell a product, you just need to have a skill that you can teach to someone else in order to start your own online courses business.”
It sounded like a dream come true!
They’ll teach me how to figure out what my skills are, package it as a course, and then sell it on social media to other people.
Trying to balance getting my girls haircuts with starting a business in 2014.
How hard can that be, right?
Right!?
So I slowly started looking into this online courses thing...
And I started dreaming about it, but I didn’t do much about it yet.
Until one day...
A day that started like every other day with me dropping off little Milla, who was only 18 months old, at daycare - but this day was different. On this day, all the other Mommies stayed for the annual Mother’s Day Morning Tea.
I couldn’t stay, I had a plane to catch for work!
I got back in my car, leaving little Milla crying at the gate with her tiny arm reaching through the bars and shouting at me to come back!
As soon as I turned the first corner, I pulled over and I cried... and cried... and cried.
I cried for that little toddler who has no concept of a boss that has the power to decide if her Mommy can or cannot attend the Mother's Day Morning Tea.
I cried for the next little girl growing inside me who’ll have to go through the same thing so that I can work and earn money.
I cried for that woman who felt completely trapped, helpless and victimized by a system I never knew would betray me so much once I became a Parent.
As I drove away that day, watching Milla cry at the gate, I committed myself to - finding a way to use my time and my brain to earn as much money as I did in my job - without ever having to answer to anyone but myself about how I choose to spend my time and how I balanced my priorities between work and my family!
Hustling hard on Facebook Live.
One day, driving in my car I heard an ad on the radio for an event for Moms who want to learn how to start online businesses.
“You don’t need to sell a product, you just need to have a skill that you can teach to someone else in order to start your own online courses business.”
It sounded like a dream come true!
They’ll teach me how to figure out what my skills are, package it as a course, and then sell it on social media to other people.
Trying to balance getting my girls haircuts with starting a business in 2014.
I’d make a few hundred dollars here and there.
Sometimes I even made a few thousand dollars in one month when I sold a coaching package.
But I was working 70 hours a week, racking up debt to pay for all the courses, not making consistent money, and worst of all, I felt like a terrible Mother because I was never present with my kids.
The first of many, many, many webinars.
Every time I hoped that the NEXT one would finally connect all the dots for me and get me to some consistency in my income.
Meanwhile, Elle was born and I was attending networking events for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
The girls were both now going to daycare so that I had more time to figure out how to build an online courses business - or any business for that matter!!!
Eagerly, I started learning everything I could about how to get this online education thing off the ground.
Some people said “Just start talking on social media” so I did that.
Some others said “Start building an email list” so I did that.
Some people said “Start a coaching business” so I did that.
Some people said “Forget coaching, sell lower price offers to the masses” so I did that.
Over the course of 3 years, I bought course after course, tried this solution then that solution, learned this step-by-step program then the next one.
The first of many, many, many webinars.
Every time I hoped that the NEXT one would finally connect all the dots for me and get me to some consistency in my income.
Meanwhile, Elle was born and I was attending networking events for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
The girls were both now going to daycare so that I had more time to figure out how to build an online courses business - or any business for that matter!!!
I’d make a few hundred dollars here and there.
Sometimes I even made a few thousand dollars in one month when I sold a coaching package.
But I was working 70 hours a week, racking up debt to pay for all the courses, not making consistent money, and worst of all, I felt like a terrible Mother because I was never present with my kids.
Eagerly, I started learning everything I could about how to get this online education thing off the ground.
Some people said “Just start talking on social media” so I did that.
Some others said “Start building an email list” so I did that.
Some people said “Start a coaching business” so I did that.
Some people said “Forget coaching, sell lower price offers to the masses” so I did that.
Over the course of 3 years, I bought course after course, tried this solution then that solution, learned this step-by-step program then the next one.
Sharing my story with Amy live on Instagram.
Sharing my story with Amy live on Instagram.
San Diego here I come, Nov 2017.
San Diego here I come, Nov 2017.
Amy Porterfield and I at the event that changed everything for me.
Amy Porterfield and I at the event that changed everything for me.
Year after year, I come back to hang out with Amy Porterfield.